Shirker Bandit

Dusted off some crusty papers from supply teaching days.  One student immediately self-identified when this was read out to the class; it was based on real-time observation of their behaviour after objectives had been set.  The young person’s reaction was this defensive riposte: ‘It’s not about me!’  However, with almost every other face in the room looking in his direction, his defence was crushed

I’ve done no work,
I’d rather shirk,
Amuse my captive army.
I stab and throw,
Provoke my bro’,
Until he says, ‘That hurts!’

My audience grins,
I poke his shins,
Turn round, chat to the girls.
They’re not impressed
So I do my best
To slangify the verbiage.

I try defecration,
Language desecration,
Those girls don’t want to know.
I look around
But all I found
Were workers ignoring this shirker.